Short Plays

What’s the last thing you remember doing before you got here?

ESTHER
Well, I was—I was driving. Oh, my God, and Allan was with me! He was proposing!

BIG MAMA:
Was he?

ESTHER:
Yes! Well, no. But he was leading up to it.

BIG MAMA:
He was?

ESTHER:
Yes! He’s been on a big home improvement kick, and he was talking about repairing some of the cracks in my sidewalk.

BIG MAMA:
Uh huh.

ESTHER:
Then we got on the subject of aluminum siding.

BIG MAMA:
Oh.

ESTHER:
And shrubs! He was talking about how he wanted to landscape my yard.

BIG MAMA:
And that didn’t strike you as being a tad over-managing?

ESTHER:
No! Any man who wants to plant things in your yard, fill in your cracks and cover you with aluminum siding is a man who is ready to commit!

BIG MAMA:
Well, I don’t—

ESTHER:
Listen! Allan and I have been together for eight years. I decided if he didn’t propose to me this year, I was going to give him an ultimatum. I know Dr. Phil and all the other expert gurus say never give a man an ultimatum. But let me tell you, eight years of waiting makes a woman pretty desperate.

BIG MAMA:
I’m sure.

ESTHER:
I mean, our first-born could have been over half-way to his bar mitzvah by now. And our youngest would have started school, which means I’d probably be back to work. Don’t you see? I’ve missed seven years of dirty bibs and potty chairs already!

–Alien Love Story

ALIEN LOVE STORY

Synopsis

2 or 3 F, 1M. Alien abduction takes it on the chin in this farce. Esther dies just as her long-time boyfriend Allan is about to propose. Desperate to become a bride, she is reincarnated into an alien and must convince Allan of who she is, and of her eternal love.

Running Time: 20 minutes

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DEGAS’ INITIALS

Synopsis

2M, or 2F, or 1M, 1F. A person with a big secret to hide shows off a treasured family heirloom. The characters can be played by 2 men, 2 women, or by a man and a woman. The parts are also interchangeable regarding sex.

Running Time: 10 minutes

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THE END

Synopsis

1F. A childless woman facing a hysterectomy reflects upon her life’s choices.

Running time: 10 minutes

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FROM ANG TO ANGELA

Synopsis

3F. An aging Alzheimer’s victim’s life is presented in three parts: as an aspiring attorney, as a successful trial lawyer, and as an elderly woman.

Running time: 20 minutes

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MONA’S HORMONE

Synopsis

2F, 1M. When a forty-something woman starts experiencing symptoms of The Change, her Hormone and Madame Menopause battle for control over her. Approximately one-third of the script consists of rap lyrics.

Running Time: 15 minutes

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BETWEEN A ROCK AND AN ELEPHANT’S TRUNK

Synopsis

2F. When Kathy comes home from college for the weekend, she is dismayed by her father’s appearance. Eva, Kathy’s mother, insists there’s nothing wrong, as she feeds her husband leaves and peanuts and keeps him afloat in beer. A 10 minute farce.

Running Time: 10 minutes

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SOUP DU JOUR

Synopsis

1M, 1 F. A suicidal woman puts her life in the hands of a snooty waiter in a high-class French restaurant.

Running Time: 10 minutes

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SQUIRREL’S OLD LADY

Synopsis

1M, 1F. Squirrel, an ex-con, has disappeared, leaving a desperate girlfriend in the lurch. She pumps a newspaper seller for information. He may or may not have been Squirrel’s cellmate in the clink, and he may or may not know Squirrel’s whereabouts. A duel of wits, with a surprise twist.

Running time: 50 minutes

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WICKER’S RULES

Synopsis

2M, 2F. What do you do when a woman wearing nothing but purple toenail polish aims a rifle at you? This and other dilemmas face secret agents and assassins as they battle for control in Wicker’s Corporation. A fast-paced British farce.

Running Time: 25 minutes

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THE LIFESAVER

Synopsis

1F, 1M. Amy has been saving her father Ted’s life every day for nearly three years, because her mother died in a drowning accident and Ted wants to make sure Amy is fully prepared should there be a next time. On this particular day, Amy has had enough and decides she wants to stop.

Running Time: 15 minutes

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THE QUEEN’S NECKLACE

Synopsis

2 F, 2-3M. The biggest scam of the 18th century! Based on a true story.

A Cardinal takes extreme measures in a desperate attempt to curry the favor of Queen Marie Antoinette.

Running Time: 15 minutes

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THE SMOKING GUN

Synopsis

1F, 1M. A married couple trying to write a 10 minute play reaches a crossroads in their relationship.

Running Time: 10 minutes

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THE STORYTELLER

Synopsis

2F, 1M. A loud, garrulous storyteller and his wife visit a reserved younger woman, and stay….and stay….and stay….

Running time: 15 minutes

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VIOLET IN THE VALLEY

Synopsis

4 or 5 F, 3 M. Home for the holidays was never like this. Christmas Eve at Connecticut Valley Mental Hospital is fraught with activity, as Violet’s brother, sister-in-law, daughter, ex-husband and a surprise visitor descend. But Violet has a surprise of her own. A holiday play with a twist.

Running Time: 65-70 minute

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